5 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Became an Actor

The early years of my acting career were full growing pains. After many long days serving city folk their morning coffees, forbidding myself free time, and saying yes to too many projects, I gradually learned the 5 things I wish I’d known when I became an actor. 

You may find that the following 5 tips resonate with you. But they also might not, and that’s okay. Everyone’s journey is different, and we all have different approaches that work for us. This one is mine, and I’m happy to share it with anyone who finds it helpful. So, here are the 5 things I wish I’d known when I became an actor. 

1. It’s Okay to Say “No”

2. Diverse Careers Await

3. It’s Worth Going At Your Own Pace

4. It’s Okay to Embrace Other Interests

5. Rediscover the Joy

1. It’s Okay to Say “No”

At the start of my acting career, the most common piece of advice I received was, “Say yes to every project.” I took this advice literally and said yes to every project. 

Why would I do that? Well, a little voice inside my head worried that if I said “No,” then that would mean my desire to be an actor wasn’t enough. Even if a project was triggering my anxiety or my gut was signaling that something wasn’t right, I would ignore those instincts and still say “Yes.”

Many actors also experience an internal struggle to say “No” even when they’re faced with a legitimate conflict, such as a scheduling issue. There’s a fear that if we say “No” to an offer, we’re somehow throwing a match and gasoline on a wooden bridge and jeopardizing our relationship with the director.

Well, here’s the good news. I’ve learned that most directors (and casting directors) are very understanding about conflicts. And they often reach out again with another opportunity. After all, they wanted to cast you in the first place because they admire your work, right? They’ll likely reach out again, determined to scoop up your talent before someone else does! 

What I know now: Turning down a project, especially if the project makes you uncomfortable, is perfectly okay. Saying “No” does not make you less of an actor. You’re still worthy of the next opportunity.

2. Diverse Careers Await

“You want to be an actor? You’ll end up waiting tables.” I received this comment enough times to eventually believe waitressing was my only job option as an actor. So after moving to New York, the first thing I did was get a job at a coffee shop. It made me pretty miserable. 

I want to express my admiration for actors who can juggle a night shift at the restaurant while performing an amazing audition the next morning. Food service is hard work that can help provide financial stability, especially when you need money for headshots or acting classes. 

Unfortunately, I was not gifted the same physical, mental, or emotional strength required to succeed in New York’s food & drink industry. 

Despite my anguish at the coffee shop, I resisted looking for a different job. I clung to the belief that serving coffee was my only option. After all, I thought an actor was supposed to suffer for their craft, right?

It wasn’t until the Pandemic that I began to search for other options— everyone lost their job at the coffee shop, and my living situation required me to work remotely. That’s when I discovered the world of remote work.

What I know now: Actors can have a wide range of enriching jobs, including teaching classes at local schools, ushering for theaters, and even transcribing. And if the food & drink industry negatively impacts your ability to act, it doesn’t make you less committed to your craft. 

3. It’s Worth Going At Your Own Pace

I’ve always been a late bloomer. Sometimes that can feel like a curse in the acting world. But you know what, I’ve learned to embrace it. 

It takes me a long time to get comfortable, build trust, and learn new skills. At the beginning of my acting career, I would pressure myself into premature career moves. As a result, any career growth I did experience was built on a foundation of anxiety and discomfort. And that’s simply not sustainable.

What I know now: I feel confident and accomplish more when I do things on my own terms. I feel uneasy and accomplish less when I force myself into something out of anxiety or fear.

4. It’s Okay to Embrace Other Interests

The advice “If you can see yourself doing anything else, do that instead,” holds some wisdom. Acting isn’t easy. In fact, it can be grueling. So, if you can see yourself in another profession, you’ll likely face less rejection and hardship in that one, and ultimately experience more consistent happiness.

But as usual, I took this advice literally. I resisted developing or nurturing other interests. Why? Well, it would mean that I might risk seeing myself “doing something else with my life,” and therefore undermine my commitment to acting. 

In some cases, I even hid my interests from others. If an acting teacher found out I have other hobbies I enjoy, I worried they might doubt my commitment to acting. I thought I had to prove to myself and others that acting was my No. 1 priority every second of every day. As you can guess, this sure sucked out the fun real quick. I restricted myself from enjoying other things in life. Yikes. 

What I know now: Life is filled with wonderful things. And if you happen to enjoy hobbies, interests, or joys outside of acting, it doesn’t make you less committed to your career.

5. Rediscover the Joy

I fell in love with acting because it was fun. After years of overthinking, strict training, and self-criticism, I started to neglect my playful side. I started to prioritize being a ‘serious’ actor and ignored the part of me that just wanted to be free and not care so much. 

Well, this strict approach ultimately led to stiff, anxious performances. ​​I was having silent panic attacks in the middle of my scenes because I was trying so desperately hard to impress my inner critic. In those moments of panic, I felt like I had lost my talent–– my very being–– under the couch pillows. 

If your passion for acting is dwindling, I’d encourage you to think back on what made you fall in love with acting in the first place (it doesn’t have to be a complicated answer). Then, I’d encourage you to reintroduce yourself to it. For me, reconnecting with my silly side, whether through laughing more at rehearsals or trying to make my scene partner smile, helped alleviate the pressure to be perfect. 

What I know now: When I have fun, I feel more in tune with my art. When I have fun, I’m honoring my craft in a very special way that’s incredibly personal to me. I don’t care as much about the results. 

Now, Go Forth and Shine Bright

I hope these 5 insights prove valuable to you on your professional acting journey. Always remember that you (and your art) are enough. Your boundaries and feelings are valid. Find what brings you joy, and above all, have a blast while doing it. 

What’s something you wish you had known before you became an artist? Send me an email and let me know!